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The start of my one week vacation is turning out nicely weather-wise. Yesterday Michael spent the day helping his friend organize her garage, so I had the day to myself. Around mid-afternoon I met up with my friend Jason and we headed over to Volunteer park to play frisbee, ball, and card games. We were out there for hours just enjoying the sunshine. Then Wade, Bryce, and Jessica joined us and we walked to Coastal Kitchen for dinner. The day ended with Jason coming over to play Mario Kart and Wii Sports after we took my dogs for a walk through the park. The great news was that after taking Jason home it started to pour rain and did so all night long. The weather had cooperated all day and then I got to listen to rain all night. Nice. This morning started out looking like it was going to start raining again and then quickly turned to sunshine. Two days in a row with sunshine in Seattle? It must close to summer. The sunshine got me really motivated to get outside and do some yard work, so Michael and I headed over to Lowe's and bought lots of plants and pots to plant them in. We also bought some grass seed to fill in some bare spots in the yard. We don't have a huge yard, but it is very nice and fully landscaped, since ours was the model home. The only thing that I wanted to do was to put a series of pots on the corner of our patio to add a little more color. It turned out really well. I'll have to take some photos and post them on here sometime. We also picked up a filled propane container for the large gas grill that our friends bought us when we moved in. We still haven't used it yet, but we're considering next Sunday as a possible day to break it in. I'm getting ready to head down to my aunt and uncle's house to visit with my aunt, my dad, and stepmom (who are visiting this weekend). I'm looking forward to a week of great weather and no obligations. Here's to a wonderful home-vacation! I hope that everyone is having as much fun as we are this weekend (and hopefully much more). I know that lots of folks are out on camping trips and other vacations. Here's to good weather for all :-) Loving all of you; meaning it. Toodles Noodles! :-) ~Jimmy Current Location: On the way out the door
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I just watched the season finale of American Idol, and was somewhat disappointed. Even though David Cook has a great voice I was really rooting for David Archuleta the entire season. It's like last year when I wanted Melinda or Blake to win and it ended up being Jordan. That seems to happen to me a lot. Take the Presidential elections for example: I voted for Gore, for Kerry, and was/am supporting Hillary Clinton this time around. It seems that no matter whom I choose I'm always in the minority. I guess that's my gayness peaking through. Whatever the case, if you're ever in a competition, you definitely don't want me rooting for you :-) All that aside, I was at the gym early this morning before work to get in my 3rd training session. It's obviously still very early, but I feel very confident that I'm already benefitting from the work I'm putting in. I can't wait to see my "after" picture put up against my "before" sometime in October. That's very exciting for me and helps to keep me motivated. There's nothing else really worth mentioning tonight. I'm just sitting at home basking in the moment - something that I've really learned to hone since starting yoga with Michael. I try to catch myself at least a couple times a day to give pause and really, truly just soak in the now. A lot of times after doing that I find myself transporting back to very specific moments in my younger teenage years when I would wonder what my life would be like during various stages in my future. One thing is certainly unexpected - I didn't realize I was gay until I was 19 so, wow, my younger self didn't see that one coming. Speaking of gay (and yes, I'm officially rambling now and can't seem to stop myself), I've found myself lately thinking back to a couple of years ago when I was heavily involved in the gay scene (well "heavily" in as much as someone who didn't sleep around, never did drugs, and didn't drink could be) and saying to myself "what was I thinking?" I don't necessarily regret that time, and I had a lot of very fun moments, but boy was I shallow - even when I was conciously aware of acting that way I still did it. I was a clone and an attention whore and it wasn't until I broke free of that and learned not to care about what other people (especially gay people) thought of me that I overcame those weaknesses and started truly understanding who I was and what my personal values were. Now every time I see a club whore, or an exclusive group of trendy gays, whose members are desperately doing everything they can just to fit in, I have to giggle in my head. Life is about so much more than trying to impress shallow friends and stay relevant in a scene. Life is about being who you are and who you were born to be. It's about figuring out your dreams and desires and bringing them through to fruition. Years ago, when I was growing up poor in a single parent family with four younger brothers my only dream was to be normal/average and to be accepted by everyone. I found that for a time in the gay community - I was accepted by tons of people if I actively worked to fit the stereotype that they placed me in. Now I realize that was all wasted energy and in the end I'm exactly where I wanted to be all along: In a loving relationship, in our home in the city, surrounded by friends and family, working in a job that I like and that I'm not chained to, and not expending energy trying to fit in - just fitting in by being myself. I'm not a perfect person, I don't believe that exists, but I am a perfect Jimmy; I'm exactly the way I would hope that I would be. If you're wrestling with issues of self identity or feeling like life is flying by without meaning take a few moments each day (morning, noon, or night) to stop, close your eyes, push all your thoughts aside and just be in the moment. Then focus on some or all of the people/things in your life that you appreciate - they are the reason that you keep going, and even though you may not realize it, and it sounds really corny, one of those people that you appreciate should be you. There is only one you in the world. Challenge yourself to recognize your full potential and your life will have more meaning than you could ever hope for - even if all you wish for is to be average. If all of that sounded really liberal/new-agey I apologize - it's something that I never thought that I would share, but it's worked for me so why not? Take it for what it is, and if it sounds laughable to you I encourage you to have a good laugh :-) (laughing is one of my favorite things in the entire world and I'll take any excuse to do it). Loving all of you; meaning it. Toodles Noodles! :-) ~Jimmy Current Location: Couch
What I'm Dancing To: I was listening to American Idol. Right now: Silence
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Well it happened. Last year, for the first time in 11 years I gained weight. I went from somewhere between 115-118 to a daily average of about 128. That might be small potatoes for some, but I'm only 5'2" and 10+ pounds on my frame shows. Granted, I'm not obese. Technically, I'm not even overweight by clinical standards. I just filled in a little (mostly in the middle :-)). The weight gain would actually be a great thing if it weren't all FAT. There are lots of things that were working against me to bring about this sudden onslaught of fatty tissue. The top two being 1) I was 28 years old and 2) I was in the first year of my current relationship. Speaking to point number 1: My metabolism has, until last year, been something that I have always taken for granted. I could eat a entire pizza in one sitting and I wouldn't gain a pound. I still have, and wear, my pairs of pants from high school (although they've gotten much tighter over the last year). I guess last year my body decided to start acting its age and 28 was not kind to me. The start of my 29th year this February didn't see any improvement. Suddenly I'm in a second puberty, gaining weight and dealing with nose hairs (Y-U-C-K! and O-U-C-H!) Point 2: I met Michael two years ago in September and it was truly love at first sight. He is my first long-term relationship and I think that helped to pack on the pounds. Suddenly I stopped going to the dance club every single Friday and Saturday night. We registered as Domestic Partners almost a year ago and I instantly stopped being active. No longer was I running all over the city night after night going on blind dates and showing up at parties trying to find "the one". Nope, I was suddenly very content being a homebody couch potato, eating Digorno pizzas from Costco and vying for the world record for most ice cream consumption by a human being in a single year (Michael has me beat by a long shot). There were other things of course. I got promoted at work early this year and my job took on bigger, more time-consuming responsibilities. Michael and I bought a house together in Seattle and I wasn't in walking distance to a gym anymore. The list of EXCUSES and COMPLANCY go on and on. Then, finally, I found a motivator. Our friends Shawn and Craig (they aren't together) are going on a cruise to the Caribbean in early October. Shawn invited Michael and me along and we were happy to accept. Now, it's not a gay cruise - yes, GASP, there are other kinds of cruises - but, it will still have thousands of people all around in tropical waters swimming and lounging in their bathing suits. I've never been afraid to go topless before, but with my gut stuck in a rut currently I'm definitely more self conscious. So, having only 6 months to move the stuff in my gut to my butt, I did what any other body-worshipping self-aspiring homo would do and hired a personal trainer - twice a week, every week for the next 6 months. I paid out the ass, but I figured at least I'd have a nice one to admire when I'm through. People say that it takes 21 days to form a habit. I'm not sure that I believe that, but if it's true, I'll definitely form one over that period of time. I plan to work out 3 times a week over the next six months (and beyond). Twice with a trainer (Mondays and Fridays) and once on my own with a pre-determined workout from the trainer (on Wednesdays). I've already had two sessions - the 2nd one was yesterday and I'm incredibly sore. I knew what to expect because I had used a personal trainer about 2 years ago for 2 months and was really pushed hard (and saw some really great results). This time is different though, because back then I was doing it just to tweak my body, now I'm doing it because I need to. It's a totally different mindset. My initial measurements were almost laughable. I weighed in at 126 lbs., was more than 17% bodyfat!!!, have 10.5" bi-ceps, and my waist was bigger than my chest (32" vs. 28"). To keep me on target and motivated along the way (outside of having a personal trainer), I took a starting set of photos and plan to take the same photos every single week over the course of the next 6 months. I'm really excited about watching my body change. Even after two sessions there are things that I have noticed that seem different (probably just my mind being hopeful, but I'm definitely walking straighter and am more confident). Whatever happens, I'm hoping to be on here more providing updates and progress reports so that I can watch my moods along the way and see where I struggled and where I persevered. Otherwise life continues unabated - somewhat. For the most part life is good. I love Michael. I love my dogs and the cat. I really like my job right now and enjoy the people I work with. I have lots of fun friends that I see a minimum of once per week. I'm just all around very, extremely, undeservingly, I-can't-believe-it fortunate in life so far. There are only been minor bumps along the way, such as last week when I farted in Yoga. OH-MY-GOSH I was sooo embarassed. Luckily it echoed (is that really lucky? ummm...) so I think that people couldn't really tell it was me, but still. Other random thoughts: My youngest brother graduates from high school next month and I'm very excited for him. Michael is currently in Leavenworth for business so I'm home alone for most of this week. I'm going to see Indy on Thursday at the Cinerama with Shawn, Jeremy, and Craig (it's Craig's birthday too), and so on and so forth. I have next week off from work so I'm looking forward to lots of down time. This weekend my parents will be in town on Saturday and I think there will be kayaking Monday. On June 12th Washington State's Domestic Partnerhip law expands in scope and if Michael and I were to separate after that date we would have to go through divorce court. We also will also be subject to community property laws, won't have to testify against each other in court, and have a ton of new rights and responsibilities related to raising children and inheritance. It's not marriage (I'm VERY excited for all of the Californians out there by the way), but it's another step in that direction and I have a feeling it will happen very soon here (we're usually just behind California up here). All that being said, this is a long post and it's my bed time (I don't stay up past 10 pm any more lol). My apologies for not writing in here more. Best wishes to everyone out there that is working on bettering themselves and/or helping those in need around them. Loving all of you; meaning it. Toodles Noodles! :-) P.S. If you get a chance to read this while you're away: I love you Michael. More. Than. Words. Current Location: The couch
How I'm Feeling:  geeky
What I'm Dancing To: Jason Mraz - The Remedy
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Hillary Clinton's Washington State Campaign sucks major ass. Last night it was announced on her website that there would be a last minute campaign event in Seattle this evening from 8:00-10:00 PM. I was thrilled about the opportunity to hear her in person and get a sense of how she is live. The opportunity was wasted. Wade and I headed over early to make sure that we would be able to get in the doors. We arrived to a quick growing crowd just before 7:30. We stood in a cramped space for more than an hour and a half listening to pop songs on a loop, waiting for the event to start. An hour after the event was suppose to be underway we finally gave up and left - and we weren't alone. People were leaving in droves. Part of the reason was that the entire time we stood there, there wasn't a single update on when Hillary was going to arrive (obviously VERY late). In fact, there wasn't anyone saying anything. There was no pep rally - nothing. Just a bunch of people standing around waiting and wondering. There were people up on the stage, but still nothing. When people asked campaign volunteers when she would arrive they kept getting told in "5 minutes". The Washington State campaign leaders suck ass. I'm sure that they put in a lot of time and energy putting the last minute event together, but wow, obviously none of them were ever cheerleaders and don't know a thing about reving up a crowd. Four years ago Wade and I traveled to Tacoma to watch John Kerry speak. He was late as well, but the difference was that there were people keeping the crowd energized and focused, and providing updates on when Kerry would arrive. Not this time. So, we left and now I'm back at home watching her speech live on local television. She finally showed up a little after 9:30. I lost my patience and I am very disappointed that I've given money to a campaign that can't get it's act together. Honestly, I'm on the fence between Hillary and Barack. Unorganized events that waste my time make me second guess my support. Granted, I'm not going to base my vote on someone being late, but she needs new campaign staffers here - people that are capable of doing their jobs. Hrmph. Toodles Noodles! :-) Current Location: Home
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Something happened on the way to work today. I got on the bus and there weren't very many places left to sit. Thankfully a man sitting near the aisle moved over to the window and I was able to sit down. It was a nice gesture and I quickly thanked him for doing it. Now, normally, me being me, that would have been the end of it. I'm not like my friend Jason who can just walk down the sidewalk or waltz into a room (quite literally waltz) and begin instant conversations with people. It just doesn't happen that often. This time was different because the man (who happened to have a pretty denounced stutter) asked me what I was reading. That simple question turned out to be the impetus for a conversation that lasted for the entire 20 minute bus ride. And you know what? When the bus pulled up to the transit center across the street from where I worked I smiled, told the man that I hoped he had a good day, and then walked over to my office building in a really refreshed mood. A very simple conversation had broken up my routine of getting onto the bus and reading/listening to music, waiting for it to get to my destination. It reminded me that life happens on the bus. It happens when you are traveling, and not just at your destination. As much as I am curious about all of the people that I see coming and going everyday on their way to work (wondering where they work, live, what their family is like), I never ask. I never engage. I just choose to sit back and watch it all go by. Don't get me wrong, the person sitting next to me could have ended up being really annoying and I probably would have ended up with a much different view of the day, but he wasn't. The event served as a simple reminder that I'm present in my life and that moments count. I may be blowing this way out of proportion, but little things like this resonate with me for some strange reason. I can still vividly remember a plane ride back from Ft. Lauderdale two years ago when I sat next to a mother traveling to Seattle to pick her kids up from their grandparents house where they were staying for the summer. She was such a friendly woman and she made conversation very easy and desirable. It made a very long flight go much quicker and left me with the same feelings that I had today as I exited the bus. I cherish those little "gifts" - moments that are given to me by fate to challenge my perspective and remind me to stay focused on what life is about. When I came home today I spent a very long time cuddled up with my puppies just petting them and holding them. They give me unconditional love in return for my attention. Kitty loved the extra time too. It was very relaxing to just sit and not have a worry in the world. Just to be there with those little animals. I love those moments. Now today is almost gone. Those moments all live in the past and I'm moving quickly in the future. Tomorrow will be over before I realize it. Days go by - fast. And Moments count. Loving all of you; meaning it. Toodles Noodles! :-) ~Jimmy Current Location: Home
How I'm Feeling:  loved
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Clinton or Obama? Tough choice. When the candidates started announcing they were running I was very excited about the prospect of Hillary Clinton becoming the first female president. What a change that would be! My state of Washington currently has a female governor, and both of our U.S. senators are women. They've done an great job so far (in my opinion), and I think that women in high-profile positions of leadership in our country is something that was too slow to happen and is very long overdue. My enthusiasm for her was based on her husband's presidency when we had one of the greatest peace-time economic expansions in our country's history. The prospect of history repeating itself was also a factor in my support for Hillary. How often in history do you get a chance for the following scenario to play out twice consecutively? Scenario: President Bush takes the country to war and runs up a huge deficit, followed by President Clinton coming in and balancing the budget and restoring international relations. Rinse & Repeat. It would be interesting to see that happen. Of course there is now a chance that that won't happen because of Senator Obama. The idea of our nation's first African American president is also appealing to me, but it doesn't seem quite as radical a change as having a woman in the position. I also like the fact that Obama would be a young senator from Illinois who was able to get the chance to be elected president because of a young senator from Illinois who later went on to become president and abolish slavery. How sweet is that?! History coming full circle. I've now come to the conclusion, after watching tons of debates and reading every piece of news on the race (I'm a news junkie), that I would be happy if either candidate won. I was just happy watching the New Hampshire debates and realizing that of the 4 people on the stage for the Democratic portion, only one of them was a white male. Amazing! Obama is a great public speaker and has the ability to really motivate the populace to work together to achieve shared goals. It would be nice to have a less divisive figure in the White House after 8 years of a closed-minded, go-it-alone, I'm-dumber-than-my-daddy-and-that's-not-s aying-much president. His downside is that he has a reputation as being a newbie to the game and I'm not sure he has all of the political capital he will need to bring with him to Washington, D.C. to get things done. Clinton is a strong political figure who I believe has the capacity to truly change the way our country is functioning and how we are viewed by the outside world. Her downside is that she is also a divisive figure and I'm worried that partisanship would grow under her. Either way, I'll be happy as long as we can get away from these Republican "lower taxes, spend everything!" and "let's go to war!" mantras. Admittedly though, I am still leaning strongly toward Senator Clinton. She's not quite the orator that Obama is, but she has the skill set to take this country back in what I think is the right direction. I'm hoping that there will be a clear nominee by the end of the month so that the Democrats will have a leg up on a Republican race that can't seem to get narrowed down to two or three. I realize that I left John Edwards out of this, but I don't feel that he is relevant (unless he somehow wins South Carolina). That, and he doesn't excite me very much. All of that being said, I really wish that this process was over already. It seems it will be forever before Bush leaves the White House. On a less political note: I was very surprised at the big response I received from posting again last night. I didn't realize there were so many people out there who followed what I wrote (or in this case, wasn't writing). I'm kind of flabbergasted by it. I've also got a lot of catching up to do myself in terms of seeing what all of you have been up to. At least I have something to look forward to for the next few days while Michael is in London. And now, because it was pointed out to me that I didn't sign off like I used to: Loving all of you; meaning it. Toodles Noodles! ~Jimmy Current Location: Home
How I'm Feeling:  chipper
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It's been a long while since I've posted - a dramatic departure from my habitual posting in the past. I don't have a single reason why I abruptly stopped writing here, but I think I'm finally ready to start at it again. Everything comes back around sooner or later, doesn't it? Many things have changed over the last year, starting with meeting Michael in September of '06. Now that we're in 2008 saying "'06" seems so, '05 :-) Seriously though, I owe where I am today because of a simple search that Michael did on myspace. The day we met each other I knew: this was what I had been waiting for all my life! That may sound trite and cliche, but it's the truth. He is the person I was destined to be with. In the nearly 16 months that we've been together my life has changed dramatically. Here are some highlights of the last 16 months: -My mandatory Friday and Saturday late night dancing sessions at R-Place and Neighbours have ceased (I have only been out to the clubs four times in the last year!). -I traveled to Europe for the first time last December (with Jason and Darren), spending nearly two weeks there. We were in London for Christmas and rang in 2007 in Paris. It was my first major trip outside of the US and I can't wait for more! -I FINALLY had my first official Valentine this past year! I have never had a Valentine before. I've always been single when the day rolled around (very strange that I was never dating someone during the month of February). Michael surprised me for Valentine's Day and my Birthday (the 13th) by taking me to a lodge on an island in the Puget Sound overlooking the water and the mountains. Everything was perfect from the petals in the bath to the flowers waiting for me when I walked into the gorgeous room. It was like a dream. -I was promoted just before I met Michael and my career has been on a fast track since. Michael also got a job at Expedia.com and then switched over to Amazon.com a few months ago. -I had my very first taste of alcohol (at the Chandon Winery in Napa, CA last January), and my very first spew-my-guts-out-oh-my-god-the-room-is-s pinning-puke-fest at my friend Shawn's house this last fall - may his chair rest in peace (I can still count the number of times I've had alcohol on two hands and still don't see why people like it so much). -Michael and I registered as Domestic Partners with WA State in August after the new law went into affect. -With Wade's help I adopted a tiny, black kitten and surprised Michael with her for his birthday/anniversary present. Her name is Emily and she's not so little any more. Our family now consists of the two of us, plus Scrumpy (Scrumpers is going to be 4 years old in July!!!), Jackie (my favorite mistake and Michael's arch-nemesis), and Emily (a very confused kitty who thinks she is a dog). -Michael and I celebrated our 1 year anniversary in Victoria, B.C. and had a wonderful time. -In November Michael and I bought our first home together in Seattle (the first home for each of us). We moved in in early December and after nearly a month and a half it is really starting to feel like home - I love it. -I've also spent the last year really learning who my friends are. Michael and I are very fortunate to have a small group of really caring, close-knit friends (I prefer to think of them as my Seattle family). I spent years hanging out with people that I never really got to know, just trying to find my way. I truly believe that I've found it. I love Wednesday's at Jason's, Corn Mazes in the fall, movie and bowling weekends, and dinners at Shawn's. Our friends are wonderful and I can't say enough good things about them. Many of them went in together on a huge gas grill for our back yard patio and surprised us with it on the day we moved in. They're just really great people and you don't find that very often. So, that's my year in a nutshell. Since I was young I've always thought (and often told people) that 28 would be the best year of my life. I wasn't sure how, but I knew that it would be. I did have a strong, but vague, feeling that it would set the stage for the rest of my life and build the ground work for the remainder of my years. Granted, I met Michael several months before I turned 28, but from my first Valentine, to registering as Domestic Partners, to our first house this has been a tremendous, life-changing year. I feel very fortunate and I really do count my blessings every single night (always have). There is a lot of suffering in the world (and very stupid wars) and for some reason I have been allowed to wade through it and get to experience a rich, full life. I'm amazed by that. It may sound like everyone else's story, but I don't care. Mine is an amalgamation of my life experiences - it is unique and, I think, wonderful. Brief update on this evening: Michael is in London for business this week. It's only his second business trip and he gets to travel to London. I'm both jealous of him and happy for him (and I miss him quite a bit). I did some work from home tonight while watching American Idol. I've only watched the 1st and 6th seasons of the show and thought that I would give this one a shot, but I'm not sure if I'm up for a full season of the same thing - it's starting to get old. To everyone out there who may still be reading this, I hope that you too have a wonderful, rich life. Life is just one experience after another. Some are good, others bad, but the trick is to recognize the experience while it's happening. Pay attention to what is going on around and you appreciate the experience for what it is. Experiences become memories and memories are all you have in the end - the sum total of your existence and the story of who you are. Here's to writing in this journal more often! ~Jimmy Current Location: Home
How I'm Feeling:  good
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